Once our application had been processed we were assigned a social worker. We were allocated a women who had the reputation of getting the preliminary process done fast. She came to our house once a week for 2 plus hours to talk about us about our life style, family, friends, attitudes, education, and reasons for wanting to adopt. Sometimes she would interview us as a couple and sometimes individually.
We had to give her the names of specific friends and family to be interviewed in person and Lee had to go to Scotland Yard to have his finger prints taken, they were then sent to the FBI in order to check that he wasn’t on Americas most wanted. They wrote to our accountant, asked about life insurance prodded our smoke alarms took a long hard look at our book shelves and checked that we had no morris dancing outfits in our wardrobe.
Now this is a very intrusive process especially when it comes to previous partners. The last woman who Lee lived with was a stripper last seen on a pole in a club called Shot Gun Willies’s somewhere in the state of Colorado. How in the hell were they going to track her down. My last boyfriend was MIA, probably living in one of her majesties hotels, trading bitcoin from his cell. I understand why they have to be so rigorous in their investigations but what if you are not on good terms with your ex and you don’t want them know that you are about to embark on this process? I guess it’s just tough!
After months of interviews and questions our PAR (Prospective adopters report) was completed and emailed to us to read and check before we went to the approval panel this would also eventually be sent out nation wide to all adoption agencies to in order for us to find and be matched with a child.
The report was sent to us by our social worker via email at 11.55pm.
I opened it and read through all the information gathered about me. There were a few minor discrepancies which I changed but the rest was true and correct. Some lovely things had been written about me by my family and friends and of course the social worker had given her opinion on why she thought we would make good candidates for adoption.
It’s a really long document so I took a quick break before I started to read Lee’s part. Everything looked ok until I got to the part about his college years. I could not believe what I was reading. It stated that he liked to experiment sexually and that one summer joined the Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and transvestite society on campus and attended several conferences. She was also a member of their club in town.
Lee’s a Comedian and I know that sometimes he can be pretty controversial but he also knew how much this meant to me so I did not think for minute that he had made this up to mess with their heads. It’s then that it became patently obvious that our social worker had mixed up our applications and had copied and pasted the wrong information into two different applications. Isn’t that a violation of data protection? So I called her the following morning and after a long silence this was her response.
“ Oh he didn’t like that bit……….Well you can see what time I sent it”
I was looking for an apology, but instead I got an excuse. She ended the conversation and then called me back immediately.
“Can you send it back to me right now!”
I was a little confused by this request, this document existed it was out there, it wasn’t as if she’d sent me a hard copy through the post, she had it in her sent box, I had it in my in my in box. So I did what she asked and I sent it back, but it was a bit too late as I had already sent it to Lee for his approval. He was working away, I called to warn him, he was so mad! He went into the make changes facility in the document and wrote WHAT THE FUCK! all over it and then sent it to her. If I had been responsible for doing something like that I would have been mortified. She didn’t seem to think it warranted an apology I found that astounding. It wasn’t the content of this miss placed information that shocked me but the couldn’t give a shit attitude. We were perfectly within our rights to make a formal complaint, but I decided not to, I wanted to keep her on board, I didn’t want to create any animosity we needed her to fight our corner. So she went away and replaced it with the information that was supposed to be there and we approved it. Our social worker then booked the first available date to go to approval panel.
Going to panel was painless, we had already been told that it was a formality and that they wouldn’t be taking us to panel if they didn’t think we were going to be approved, no point. So we sat and answered their questions there were about 8 people in the room made up of people from varies aspects of adoption. Once we had answered all their questions they voted, they all voted yes, what a relief! All we had to now was to find a little human.